Bad Dreams

Dreams can be a magical and terrifying place, especially for a toddler.

I’m no stranger to crazy dreams. I once had a dream with flying vampire pigs that ate my brother that was so realistic, I Googled “flying vampire pigs” in the morning to see if they actually existed. I thought for sure they were from some old Transylvanian folk lore that my subconscious somehow picked up on. But I remember feeling disappointed when my search results came up null. “It was so real,” I thought to myself.

It’s amazing how our minds can make something ridiculous into something so frightening. Flying vampire pigs sounds so laughable, but in my dream they sure weren’t and they were as real as you or I.

Now that Ellie has started to have bad dreams, it’s even more amazing to see what her mind turns into scary things.

It was about 11pm and Ellie woke up crying loudly. That type of cry that makes you really concerned about what just happened. I ran upstairs to console her and she was still half asleep but crying uncontrollably. “What’s wrong!? Did you have a dream? What happened!?” I asked her.

All she did was kick and cry in response.

I held her and rocked her in the chair trying to calm her down, but she just kept sobbing. And just as I was starting to really worry about what could she have possibly dreamt that was this scary, she started sleep-singing, “E-I-E-I-O” while still crying.

Followed by, “a Moo moo {crying sniffling sobbing sounds} here, moo moo there {big wale}.”

Poor kid. She was sleep dreaming “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” and it wasn’t going so well. It must have been his evil twin with twisted demented animals. Complete with hypnotic eyes and cackling laughter.

I couldn’t help but laugh, but I didn’t know what to do. So I decided to sing-a-long? Eventually she drifted off into a calm sleep while we sang Old MacDonald together. What a dream.

That was the one and only time evil old MacDonald showed up in her dreams. Now the big bad dream culprits are either me or Humpty Dumpty.

“Humpty Dumpty is gonna get me,” she says before I walk out of her room.

When she says that, the first thing I think of is a giant vampire eggman chasing her followed by the Beatles circa the Magical Mystery Tour.

“I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, goo goo g’joob”

Gives me the shivers. No wonder she’s afraid.

But when it’s not Humpty Dumpty, it’s me. “I’m scared,” Ellie will say.

“Of what?” I ask concerned.


Wait, what? Me!? Ouch. How did I get in the same category as Humpty Dumpty, Old MacDonald, and flying vampire pigs?

Oh well, I may be scary in dream form, but I know she’ll always want me there to comfort her from a bad dream. Humpty Dumpty and Old MacDonald don’t stand a chance against me.

To read more stories from this stay-at-home dad, visit www.thegoodthedadandthebaby.com

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