Graduating for 2

When Emily Phee walks across the stage at to receive her high school diploma Thursday, she will be graduating for two.

Phee gave birth to son Owen just after turning 16 during her sophomore year of high school. The Teen Parent Program at taught Phee parenting skills and provided child care, enabling her to continue her high school education.

And now, two years later, Phee is about to graduate and head off to college.

According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only about 50 percent of teen mothers receive a high school diploma by age 22, versus nearly 90 percent of women who did not give birth during adolescence.

Without the program, Phee said, she wouldn’t have had any other choice but to drop out, likely adding a Wyandotte number to the national statistic.

Kathy Filipiak, director of Wyandotte Public School’s early childhood program, said it's essential for teen parents to graduate.

“A diploma is so important,” she said.

Besides providing child care, Roosevelt's Teen Parent Program also educates teens on skills they will need to raise their child. Classes begin for parents before the baby is even born. Teen parents are given directions on everyday baby care, including feeding, diaper changing and playing.

Twice a week, an infant mental health specialist from The Guidance Center comes to the school to work with teen parents and their children, offering support, services and guidance. Filipiak said the collaboration with The Guidance Center has been essential to the program's success.

The program includes teen fathers, as well. Filipiak said some fathers register to take the parenting class, and others come to eat lunch with their child during the school day.

The program has about six to eight teenagers enrolled each year, Filipiak said.

“Everyone here I have had the honor to work with are all just kids like the other kids walking the halls,” Filipiak said. “Their card just got pulled.”

Filipiak offers pregnant teens and teenage mothers guidance and emotional support. She inquires about their doctor appointments and whether they are taking their prenatal vitamins. She also offers pamphlets, videos and guest speakers to education the teens.

“I came to the program to share my early childhood expertise,” Filipiak said. “I was not prepared for how I would fall in love with the teens and their babies in this program.”

Once she suspected she was pregnant, Phee said, she thought she would have an abortion. She said she was a good student and knew she needed an education.

Once her pregnancy was confirmed and she told her mother, Phee said the baby became real to her. She changed her mind about terminating the pregnancy and felt she should deal with the reality of her actions.

While some say teenage pregnancy is glamorized on TV shows like 16 and Pregnant and The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Phee said she finds the shows upsetting.

“I don’t feel like they focus on the mother part; they focus on the drama,” Phee said. “The focus is on fights between the parents and not the challenges of potty training, nail clipping and feeding your child.”

Many things have had to be different in Phee’s life.

She was called names during her pregnancy. She doesn’t get to go out with friends as much as other teenagers. Dating is complicated. She has shown up to school in clothes covered in baby cereal.

It can be frustrating to Phee when peers complain about normal teenage things, like having their cellphones taken away because she doesn’t have one. She hears about fellow students failing classes that she is passing while caring for her son. She also finds it frustrating when she sees grandparents raising the babies of other teenage parents.

Phee’s mother is very supportive, but is physically unable to help care for Owen due to illness. Phee has two younger sisters, ages 11 and 5, that she also has helped raise because of her mother’s condition.

Rather than worrying about what she will be wearing to commencements on Thursday, Phee has to worry about finding a baby sitter.

For Phee, finances are one of the most difficult parts of being a teenage mother. She makes money by delivering newspapers–a part-time job she can do with her son.

“There have been times I don’t know where I’ll get his next diaper from,” she said.

Despite the obstacles, Filipiak said, Phee is a wonderful mom.

“She is patient, flexible and firm when she needs to be,” Filipiak said. “Emily has parenting skills that you don’t even see in older parents.”

Phee credits parenting tools she learned through the program for her mothering abilities. Filipiak said Phee began learning things before Owen was born, rather than waiting until after.

“Emily put herself second,” Filipiak said. “Her maturity has made the difference.”

Not only has Phee earned her high school diploma, but she also has been earning college credits through dual enrollment at Henry Ford Community College. For the past school year, she has been attending class at HFCC from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. every Saturday.

She has had to rely on mothers from a mother’s group at her church and some of the day care teachers from Roosevelt to watch Owen while she went to class.

“I’m very happy with what I’ve been able to achieve, but I wanted to go for the gold,” Phee said. “I wanted to go to Georgetown. I have to settle.”

Phee will attend the University of Michigan–Dearborn in the fall, majoring in political science with a minor in pre-law.

She has earned a Dean’s Scholarship from U of M, a social science scholarship from Roosevelt and will use federal student aid to help pay for her schooling. Owen will be able to continue in the Roosevelt child care program, which is a relief to Phee.

“He gets top-of-the-line care here,” Phee said. “It’s comforting. He’s happy here and it’s good for me.”

Phee said it scares her to think about what her life would be if she had not had the Teen Parent Program.

“I owe all of my success to this program,” Phee said.

In the future, Phee hopes to have a career in politics, a good marriage and a stable family. She also hopes she doesn’t have to worry about things like affording to keep the electricity on at her home.

“I say grandiosely that I want to be president someday,” Phee said. “But, if I knew I could live my life stable from day to day, I would consider that success.”

For her son, she said, she hopes for health and proper development, but most importantly, that he has a good childhood.

“I’m very satisfied with my life,” Phee said. “I see what I have missed and I see what I have instead. And that makes me happy.”